What I cannot do...

...eat regularly. I cannot eat adequate amounts even when I do. I cannot make decisions, cannot drink enough water, cannot help but feel pressured and frustrated. So much that I am unable to do. I can't

keep my pillow dry,

sleep through an entire night without waking,

find reason to get out of bed,

remember my dreams.

Talk about my problems, stop trying to pretend nothing's wrong, answer "how are you?" honestly.

Go through a day without breaking down, step outside without a feeling of utter vulnerability.

Look forward eagerly, look into the past and not feel like a failure.

Shake this overwhelming feeling of guilt or give myself a break.

Find a meaning for anything I do, find inspiration or hope or opportunity.

This.

I cannot do this.