(to take your word, i'd have to steal it)

i will not echo your "i love you" while you frown at my beating heart at your feet and brush it aside

again.

i will not.

i cannot be content as you laugh at my fears, giving sustenance to the monsters in the closet (&world-dearGOD,theworld) and making fun as i tremble alone in bed

again.

i cannot.

i refuse to beg any more.

Perhaps, dare I imagine,
you are more than aware
of the mockery in your "good night"s
and the irony laid thick between "sweet" and "dreams."

Perhaps you've always known,
and have taken comfort in your ability to fuel my nightmares with everything
you do
not
do.


with how i have (&still-ohGOD- still) been treated,
i would not be surprised on the least.