Staring at a grey city sky

I guess I sometimes wonder why I can't get myself to care at all enough. I imagine what it would be like if I could wake every morning filled with energy and feeling renewed with life -- I could meet people, do things, make a difference in the world. I could learn new things. I could have new experiences, or reminisce about old ones with old friends around places we all remember growing up. I could feel connected with people, connected with the world. And I could be happy.

And yet this stigmatized illness leaves me staring at the sunless sky while all that was once so dear (and in all reality, still is and will always, always be) to my heart drifts by; I dream without sleeping.