but I can't stop staring at it and actually fall asleep like a normal fucking person. My boyfriend's asleep at my side, my cat is sleeping by my feet, and all I want to do is join them and dream about not lying awake for hours with nothing but my own obsessive thoughts.
I can't tell without my contacts in, but I think I see a little crack in the ceiling. Maybe, just maybe, if I wait long enough some sort of liquid calm will seep out of it and land on my skin and when I close my eyes it won't just be futile again. Maybe then I can get some rest.