tell me, is writing this even helping me?
or is it merely DRAGGING out all these
emotions from me at the most arduous
time possible to make my life difficult?
is it because i'm actually going to finish
a spring term for the first time in years&
eat&can sleep&—ah—am I not worthy?
what is my penance, then?
you get what you deserve.
is it because i don't already hurt e-goddamn-nough?
what is my penance, Lord?
(why do we like to HURTso much?)
—i burned every bridge i ever built while you were here.)
what is my penance?you get what you deserve.
mamma sang
"and i DON'T mind if
it ' s ME you need to
turn to; we'll get by--"
mamma sang
"someone's waiting to love you."
you get what you deserve.
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