Rant

Missed my bus stop and had to walk an extra six blocks. Why? Because I wasn't paying attention to tug the little stop request cord before we reached it and even when I jumped up and sprang to get off, the driver wasn't paying attention I didn't want to shout and bother him to open the back door to let me out. I decided to just get off at the next stop. Why? I don't know. Because I was embarrassed? Lazy? Ashamed? Felt guilty? I don't even fucking know. But when we finally got to the next stop—over half a dozen blocks away—and I got out, I had cut across some building and the highway onramp to run to class. It's pretty pathetic, I was almost in tears—I was so mad at myself and so frustrated and so upset and so Idon'teveknow. I was already going to be a few minutes late if I'd gotten to the bus stop when I was supposed to. How stupid could I be? How hard would it have been to speak up? Why did I decide it was worth adding an extra six blocks to the twelve I normally walk every damned day so that the driver didn't have to pull some extra lever?

God, I hate myself sometimes.