Mar 5, 2010

acedia

Sometimes, without any sort of perceivable provocation at all, I get the feeling that there is just no point.

The emptiness of human existence and the disdain the universe has for us, perfectly imperfect creatures so connected to one another and yet so completely isolated.

Why do I care?
What am I doing here?
Why am I doing anything?
What's my purpose?
Where am I heading towards?

Questions, uncertainties,
my mind reels while my heart sinks
& I lose hope & I lose motivation
& I lose faith & I lose aspiration

But then I take several deep breaths,
think of dear Christopher's philosophy
and say to myself, (my brain my lungs my arms my ears eyes fingertips)

"I'll just make it up as I go."

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