Fifteen minutes

(11:52:15 PM):
i'll try to keep it short.
i guess i've just been really depressed or frustrated or irritated or upset or angry or whatever and i haven't been able to really just bitch to anyone other than my cat or a couple pages in a notebook that i rip up afterwards

"hmm. Yeah the cat just kinda pokes you and wants to be pet."

okay. i love facebook. i enjoy being able to catch up with my friends and family members who are far away or busy or whatever.
but at the same time...

    ...it depresses me.
there was some thingie in my Cosmo this month that said Facebook can be detrimental to mental health, particularly to women.
status updates, pictures, etc... people downplay the bad things in their lives and celebrate the good things (which is entirely understandable) in pictures or videos or status updates
but it leaves the reader feeling incredibly... inadequate

"oh I see."

i'm miserable
i'm just so fucking miserable

"I'm usually just 'lol REALLY SHE GOT MARRIED? how did you convince a man to...' and thats about it."


all I want is to have some of that happiness that everybody else seems to get to be a part of so effortlessly


"It's easy to be outwardly happy. Doubtful it's as effortless, or in the same magnitude that it seems."

i guess. but i don't even have anything good to post.

"'Kitten did somthing cute' seems to be the new go to these days!"


i just feel like i have to try so hard just to stay afloat every damn day
and people are off getting married, having cute babies, scoring great jobs, buying new houses, going on exciting trips

"Will not post Europe pictures yet..."

(i wouldn't mind-)

"I kid, I kid."

i mean, i'm happy for them.
it's not like they didn't earn it (well most of them) or anything
i just
i don't know, it bothers me so much



   ...i guess that's it.
thanks for listening.

(12:06:04 AM):
"It's what I do."